GRASSROOTS CHRISTIANITY
Advice about sex for those married and single
1 Corinthians 7:1-16
Jerry A Collins
SCC
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Does God
expect us to marry or remain single?
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Is sex in
marriage God’s way of controlling these urges?
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What
should we do if we are married to an unbeliever?
While I was driving I listened to the Dr. Randy program where people called in about any biblical topic they wished to discuss. When this lady called she described what was for her one of those moments when she says she felt the presence of the Lord very strongly as she was singing in worship in some setting. During this emotional time for her she said she sensed the Lord asking her to give something up for Him as a demonstration her devotion to Him. She decided that that would be wearing makeup especially since this was something already bothering her. Se did not need to try and improve upon the way God created her. So she decided to do his. But she had a problem she told Dr. randy. Her husband likes her wearing makeup. He says it enhances her looks and he likes it. Now she feels guilty whenever she does because she said, she is out of God’s will. She wanted to know how she could help her husband to understand that she should not sin against God and wear makeup. (Oh boy!) I was waiting for his answer. He began by acknowledging her dilemma. He suggested that first, then approach her husband and have the hard conversations but trust that the Lord will enlighten her husband to this since God would not want her out of His will. I gagged! The answer is in 1 Cor 7:32-34. The whole thing was silly. Her experience was just an emotional thing. God already told her what she should do. Wear make-up! You get married, you also assume the responsibility associated with that & here is what we learn about that.
1. MARRIAGE IS NORMAL & CELIBACY IS GOOD 1-7
In chp 1-6 we were dealing with questions from others. Now this section thru chp 15 begins with questions the Corinthians were asking vs 1a. This first question resulted in advice about single, sex and marriage. (1) Don’t touch 1-2! Probably not handshaking or greeting hugs but touches which could result in sexual stimulation. It is a good thing to remain unmarried and single. Singleness as long as it is celibate can be good. But command for man & woman to have sex in marriage is because of immoralities 2. Since sexual temptations in singleness the only legitimate outlet for that is marriage. Sexual relations in marriage is preventative against sexual immorality outside of it. So each man is to sexually have his own wife and wife sexually have her own husband. Marriage is full of responsibility and this is one. (2) Don’t deprive 3-5. First, sex is a drive that must be controlled but there is a limit to that control 3. That limit is within marriage and must be maintained by married partners. Husbands and wives have a duty to give sexual satisfaction to each other. Second, our bodies belong to our marriage partners 4. Don’t covet another’s partner. So sex in marriage is not an option, an extra or necessary evil but a responsibility. There is mutual authority of each other’s bodies. Third, do not deprive one another of sex beyond self-control 5. This is emphatic command. The only exception is mutual and temporary. This prayer time may be concerning grief or serious illness for example. When these urgent personal, spiritual or physical needs are past, normal marital relations resume. The reason is lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control. You should never use sexual abstinence as a tool to manipulate or intimidate your partner. That places you and her/him in jeopardy. (3) Some celibate, some married 6-7. The point of abstinence was not a command but a concession if the stipulations were met. Marriage was instituted by God and norm for mankind but not required for everyone 6. The preference, though, is celibacy 7. First, it has the advantage of freedom and independence to serve Christ. That was a good thing for Paul since he traveled extensively and often stayed in places for months and years. There are less complications this way. But he did not expect all who were single to stay that way. And for those who were married it would be wrong to become celibate while married. The point of celibacy is that our priority is the Lord. Pure dedication to God is the ideal and single celibacy is legitimate when it makes that a priority. I am not—you are not—all who we know are not. Paul was, Jesus was, 144000 will be. Marriage turns Mary’s into Martha’s. Much of Jesus’ teaching is difficult if you are married. Even in marriage, Jesus said love your wife and hate your wife. We are still responsible to God for our marriage and we must fulfill the responsibilities God says we have when we do. So priorities (1) personal & spiritual integrity then if married (2) develop marital intimacy, then if children (3) fulfill parental responsibility then (4) establish professional competency.
2. WHILE MARRIAGE IS
There
are four groups given instruction about marriage issues. (1) Those unmarried 8-9 This
group includes anyone not married as well as widows. It is good for these to
not get married a Paul was 8. Anna became a widow after 7 yrs marriage and
devoted herself to service of God in temple and at age 84 held baby Jess (Lk
2. Ideally, celibacy is most perfect preference if
desire it. Seems contrary to God’s command to Adam & Noah to multiply and
fill the earth and promise to Abe that descendents as numerous as stars.
3. If you are divorced don’t remarry except to former
spouse. If you are married don’t get divorced. 4. One believer in the home is
better than none. Believing spouse sets apart the home for greater likelihood
of unbelieving spouse & children to become believers.